Homeless vs. Hipster

Your Horoscope, August 2012

Aries
Four will be killed, 12 injured, and nearly 50 molested this week after your unconscious escapes.

Taurus
Will you finally get that big job promotion? Is a whirlwind romance in the cards for you? Tune in to Taurus next week for all the answers and more!

Gemini
The training wheels will soon come off your bike, as will both regular wheels, the front and back brakes, each handlebar, and, finally, you.

Cancer
Red-bellied trout are known for traveling halfway across the country in search of a mate, but it’s still a bit of a surprise when hundreds of them arrive at your doorstep.

Leo
Don’t be afraid to ask loved ones for help this week. After all, they expect nothing less from a fuckup like you.

Good, Better, BEST

Never let it rest, until your Good is Better and your Better is BEST !